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Woman

My friend is being irrational and purely insane! She’s has started dating after 25 years of marriage, her husband passed away 18 months ago.

She forgets to come home, to feed the dog and her son! She makes promises she can’t keep and mopes around when her date forgets to call her or gets drunk or is in a PSD mode…

She feels guilt and tries to rectify by turning guilt on me or her husband’s family – they are very judgmental! She’s keeping it a secret from them that she’s dating!

I said something and she started to scream and curse etc. I told her she has become an ugly person!

Then I remembered Donna Ashworth’s poem and I knew that each of us have to be what our nature commands us to be…

And I knew I had to be to her now what the poem says…

13 thoughts on “Woman”

  1. For men too. Starting over, whether from divorce, death or other circumstance can leave us whirling in insecurity, foolish behavior, mood swings, financial issues, etc. It’s like we don’t know who we are anymore and unsure of how we fit in the world and the challenge of redefining ourselves is disorienting. It’s harder the older we are. Unfortunately, many of us withdraw into a fortress of isolated safety or engage in absurd behaviors and perceptions. We have to find new anchors and recraft ourselves. We have to understand that we may be acting crazy and why we are acting that way and determine what to do about it. Google the support groups. Knowing we are not alone is valuable strength for confidence rebuilding. I decided who or what is or is not in my life does not determine who we are and what our future must be. We are changing. We must develop plans. Breathe, live and explore the new paths albeit very carefully. The alternative is evaporating away in despair.

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  2. Begin to feel you need a new neighborhood or some new friends, anyway. Also, though I suspect I am wrong, you need to blackmail your “friend” telling her if she doesn’t grow up and give you and others some adult respect, you will drop her secrets on those she hides them from. We (as modestly older, and generally saner adults) have little time to devote to petty contrived horrors. Zeus knows we’ve a full plate just dealing with politicians, corporate wigs, and lunatic fringe (left and right) and don’t need inconsiderate twits dropping trou to crap on our lives. Man-up here, Ma’am, and set this witch straight. As a friend you can do this. Lose her? Not, I suggest, a big loss; leaves you more of your precious time for those in your life with a smidge of sanity.

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  3. After my father died, my mother started dating again and eventually remarried. She was 82 when she took those vows and we all thought she was crazy.

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  4. That must be so hard to lose a spouse after 25 years of marriage. When I worked as a grief counselor, we suggested waiting 9 months before making any big decisions, but everyone is different. I can’t imagine the range and rollercoaster of feelings. I’m glad you’re accepting her choices and being there as she figures out the next steps in her journey. ❤ ❤ ❤

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