The Full moon and eclipses are all in my natal chart! And with that said it would explain that moon madness is a part of me as my eyebrows!
But… I’m dissapointed in my choice of friends! Yes friends that you build lifelong ties, friends that know everything about you that you know you have to keep as friends or your secretes will be out!
In the past six months my emotions were frozen, my mind was distressed and lonliness brought about bouts of depression. When these occurences would happen I would reach out to my few friends and they would listen to my ravings…
Taking their advice I started therapy and soon in a short time I felt better and relieved that there was a place to go to unburden this heavy weight of “ominous” thoughts. I started to move on, I started to smell the roses, hug the trees and let my spirit heal in the summer sun.
When I started calling friends to tell them how wonderful I’m feeling and reconnecting with life… no one is answering the phone, the messages are left but no one called back! Maybe one, who is vacationing missed my message due to her voice mail being full, or maybe the other had a power failure and the message was erased, or, or, …
Who am I kidding! I guess they are afraid of listening to me and telling me how angry I sound or what? I don’t know! I really don’t know! This reminds me of someone who receives a voicemail telling you they broke up with you and they wonder ‘ what did I do?’
What did I do? Did I trust you too much and just spilled my guts thinking you will understand, you are my friend I don’t need to guard my voice or my thoughts or what? Should I have thought before speaking? Should have bit my lip before saying something I’m going to regret? Is this why no one calls to invite me to go somewhere or dinner with their family?
The calls before my depression were just conversations, information, I did this I did that, now there’s silence…
After recalling it, I just realized when my alones started, it was when everyone called, texed, e-mailed but they never came over spontaneously for a drink or dinner, they never invited me to go with them to their home or share their activities. They had seen my depression and slowly started to push me away. But why the pretence? They should have let go and not slowly linger and then nothing!
Who can understand such actions? Why ponder on it? Maybe I’m flawed, but if you are my friend don’t you accept me even when my madness is present?
Is it madness to ask for love?
Is it madness to be different?
Is it madness to be accepted just as I am?
“I always liked the time before dawn because there’s no one around to remind me who I’m supposed to be, so it’s easier to remember who I am.”
Well my friends the wind of change has brought about a change so painful and so soul searching it actually frightens me to the core of my soul. All that I was is in question and if that is the case then…
-I am nothing that I was
I was a lie
I was a void filled with emptiness
All gone, all gone Am I-
Windmills of My Mind 
What are your 5th and 11th houses doing?
Also I keep track of the moon daily. She is the fastest moving part of the timepiece and directly related to our emotional journey
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I wish I could nut can’t figure it out, one if these days!
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Lunar opposition to Uranus seems to play out in my charts
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is that good?
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Not sure really…. the full moon we just had was in Aquarius and that was pretty crazy
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Can you make new friends, like in a book club, or hobby? I am glad that therapy helped. Peace to you.
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Thank you Nicodemas for the suggestions, I will do.
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Sometimes its best when those that don’t choose to stay and engage in life with us, leave….in reality they were really never part of the circle around you…true friends are so hard to come by…not counting family I have one true friend…we love each other unconditionally, always honest with each other no matter the outcome for one another, we only see each other these days once a year at best, but always a phone call away…it was nice that your “friends” were there to help guide you to therapy and there to listen when you most needed them…they were transitional friends in your life….put there for a purpose and only that purpose to full fill….funny how blow in and out of our lives…I am a loner at heart, prefer to be to myself and alone….my husband and I can be together all day and not even speak to each other most of the day….very nice to have someone who understands solitude…I also have come to understand, and it took years to understand this concept about myself… that being a lunar child, a little crazy, happy go lucky, thinking out of the box kinda gal, comes with fears from others….most people don’t think like I do, or lets say I don’t see life like them….staying positive and trying to see all positive in all situations give people the benefit of doubt…random acts of kindness bring nothing but pleasure to me…in the end to get back on track….friends happen, you can’t force that relationship, can’t buy it, I believe your best friend is inside you….after making friends with yourself, others show up….stay happy, and let the moon beams dance you to happiness….Namaste my friend!! Namaste – – – – – kat
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Thank you Kat, you have expressed it so well this need for solitude and yet, to have someone there to reach out too. I know that I value too much on the here and now and forget the then that is about to happen, maybe I put my time into waiting for them and have lost the ability to be totally me and rediscover new friends in new paths. Namaste my friend, as ever Solitaire xx
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peace to you on this beautiful sunday……
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